The Fallen Heroes

We salute those of you who entered into battle bravely. You didn't know what lay ahead or what challenges you would face. You never expected to come across someone so motivated in their endeavors to take down the opposition. We mourn the loss of you and hope that your replacements will be able to stand tough and make you proud.

In memoriam...

Kong Ultra...You claimed to be tough and indestructible, able to withstand the strongest of chewers. You were no match for little Gracie. You last only a couple minutes and then you had a bite taken out of you.



Orka...You claimed that you could entertain the power chewer but your qualifications also fell short. You too lasted only a couple minutes before part of you ended up in the belly of your most feared enemy.

Clifford The Red Dog...We had high hopes for you. You came prepared with your rope armor protecting your mid-section. However, when we realized you left your tail exposed we knew you wouldn't be with us for long. Time in battle: 10 minutes.



The Lion...We thought you were cute so we gave you a chance. We should have known that you would never survive. It wasn't long before the razor sharp teeth pierced your back.



The Weenie Dog...We tried you out because you were free with a coupon. You lost your foot within a few short minutes. We thought she would have had more compassion for you since you are both weenie dogs. However, she couldn't stand your incessant squeaking and she had to put an end to it.



Resistance is futile. Bring on the next victims.